In this time of great external turmoil, this exercise is invaluable for finding a sense of peace! It comes from my teacher, Kathy Kain, and you can listen to her explanations in this video, with English, German, and Turkish subtitles.
Here is the exercise section from the video.
“So, what I’d like to do now is take you through that practice. And feel free to substitute whatever language feels appropriate to you.
If you’re using this for yourself or if you’re going to adapt this and use it for other people, it is just here as a possible suggestion.
So, the first thing I would invite you to do is consider past or current experiences that feel either overwhelmingly unbearable, that you really feel must be different, or to which you have strong objections. Now, I’m using that language, but ideally, when you’re starting, you’re not using the worst experiences. It’s good to build some capacity and to practice before you take on some of the most challenging experiences.
So choose something that feels like it’s in that category that you feel that you have some possibility of holding the experience in your awareness without it becoming too overwhelming for you. And as you do that, then, notice what happens in your body. What changes, if anything, as you bring that experience back into current awareness?
- Does your breathing change?
- Do you feel your muscles change?
- Is your posture different ?
- Do your thoughts become different?
- Do you feel your face constricting all over, relaxing, for example?
- Do you feel some sense of collapse or bracing?
Just noticing in the moment, what happens as you bring back into your awareness something that has been overwhelming for you, challenging or stressful that you have felt must be different. And then in whatever system you’re noticing the changes, just do something that lets you come even slightly out of that response.
That might mean taking a deep breath, making a sound, moving, including getting up and moving around or dancing. You might make a fist and then let it go. Change your posture. All we’re looking to do at this point is to break up this response. We’re not trying to be elegant; we are just trying to break it up.
The pattern of the response, just change it, even if that’s done in an artificial way in the beginning. And as you do that, just simply notice what happens throughout your body as you’re making these at least small efforts to change the pattern of response.
And then we are going to repeat the exercise twice more, and the final time will be a little variation on it. So, in the second time, again, bring into your attention something that has felt overwhelming to you. That must be different, that you object that it’s unbearable.
And notice what happens in your body, perhaps in your thoughts, but mostly, you want to stay with your body experience at this point. What happens in your breathing, your skin, your posture? How does your body respond when you bring that back into your attention?
And whatever that response is, then take a few moments to see if you can change it at least a little bit. Change your breathing, take a deep breath. A slow out breath, move, make a sound, look at someone else if there’s someone there. Think of someone who has been kind to you. Again now, it may feel artificial at this point. All we’re looking to do is to find some way to break up what’s happening in that response.
In the final round, what I’d like you to do is, as you bring that experience back into your awareness again, notice if there’s any difference in how your body responds initially. There may not be. You may find your response is equally strong to what it was at the very beginning, but just notice if there’s any difference.
If there isn’t, then we repeat the exercise the same way, notice the pattern, do what you can do to change the pattern, but if you do notice a difference, let your attention rest on what’s different.
If your breathing is different, let yourself notice that. If your muscles aren’t quite as tight or collapsed, notice that. If your posture isn’t quite as braced or collapsed, notice that. Just let your attention rest on any small changes that may have occurred. Or, again,if nothing is different, just let yourself notice that and do what you can to change that.”
